the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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