Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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