so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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