I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
