I wish I could teleport
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize