East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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