I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
