He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
