Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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