How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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