yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
