I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize