Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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