I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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