The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize