My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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