that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
