broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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