i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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