Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
