Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
