just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
