Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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