She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
