If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize