So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My vagina is officially offended.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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