You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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