is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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