my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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