wake up i wanna do it froggy style
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
