I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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