Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
