dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize