just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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