Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
cat food counts as protein by the way
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
