Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
