There was a lot of him and a little penis
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
