One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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