hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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