What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
