like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
