The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize