fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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