I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
