apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
