You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
