Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
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I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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