Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
