I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
