He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
