It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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