While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
