We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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