it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
