You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
