Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
