Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
