Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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