This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize