She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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