I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pants are for mortals
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
