ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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