How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
