Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize