Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
