I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
50% drunk capacity currently
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
