she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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